Life is always passing me by.

Well I am yet to understand why I can't just be like everyone else I know. Why can't I just give in and take the drugs, escape from my pointless life and feel my mind just slip away from me and let myself fade into the unknown. Why can't I just go out with my friends and dance my worries away until I lose myself. Why am I here writing instead out with a boy raising a little hell? Sadly I have come to the conclusion that I am just an idiot. I let my beliefs and morels get in the way of life. Why is that? I wish I didn't care. I wish I was out there with my friends. But sadly wishes never come true if you want something you have to work for it. You have to put in the time of day and make things happen. So as much as I wish these things would happen I don't think they ever will. I am to kin on seceding with my life some how. Becoming someone important and not just someone on the side lines watching everybody else have fun with life. So there if you read that you probably get a good sense of who I am. But right know I feel well kinda emo haha... I am being depressing and weird...How sad. I should probably change that.